I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
