Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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