Im at strip club and am horny
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
