Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My pussy is not your playground.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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