currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I will be naked everywhere
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
