so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
