Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
