I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
