Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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