Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
