brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Umm I'm too high to move.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
