I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
