Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
