Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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