Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
