sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
