I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
