South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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