Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
