i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
