I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
