OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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