I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Randomize
