so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
