im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
