the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
