She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
