drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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