My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
vagina is talking i cant
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
