that's an acceptable place to lick
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
