He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
