i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
