hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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