Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What a dumb baby whore.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
