You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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