***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
