I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
