FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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