after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
