just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
