smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
