So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
