But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
