i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
