Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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