Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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