Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
