Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
