summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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