For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
