well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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