Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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