As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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