Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
