Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
