I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
