their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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